Bad days at school to go to a bad day at work to come home to a bad day. What the fuck. Am I supposed to do. What the fuck now?
When I roam the halls of school or go anywhere alone, I’d hope someone is falling for me. People are more approachable when they’re alone… but the fact is that nothing is intriguing about a loner. They don’t need you, they are fine without you, people think. On the contrary, they do. They’re waiting for you to fall in love with them. I always hoped one day someone would be interested in me for that, but people aren’t attracted to loners. It’s why we’re loners.
the less you make it obvious if you’re interested in me or not the more interested i am hmm
are you being nice orrr…
I want to get some ink, I think I’m going to. Lol. This august, when I finally have money and bathingsuit season is over. Debating where, somewhere my parents don’t have to look at. I want lyrics under my boob, lol. I knew I wanted words there, but I think I decided balance and composure lyrics. I love them so much, anything from Seperation would be GREAT. (btw it’s not some shady tattoo artist, it’s just my sister’s friend)
you look the opposite of what you are, you think you’re so hardcore but you’re a pussy. I miss being soft, but you did this to me you little bitch, I fucking hate you and the chance i get to, i’m going to punch you in the face. you’re going to lie, that you got in in a “pit” but really your youngn’ ex girlfriend gave it to you, fucking cunt. i hate that word. and i just used it on you, mr deadbeat.
had to get that out of my system~
I haven’t written in here in forever, as if any of you care. I get paid tomorrow, but it should be less than i expected since i got sick. I feel like things should be falling in place at this point, but everything feels the same. So I’m just sitting here wondering what i’m doing wrong, wondering what i should change. I’m really bored with how I look, but I don’t know what to do :c I want a sidecut thing but they were so overdone idk. sigh sigh sigh. wish I could dye my hair but too much damage and work sigh sigh sigh. it’s paradoxical how I will have the money to do the things i want to do bc of my job but no the time bc my job hm. that’s the way life works,.
my ears, are gonna get bigger. I’m sorrryyy mom I’ve been told to be myself all my life :x I’ll go naked around the house but yeah. This makes me more comfortable with my appearance and you’re going to have to deal with it. rather you get used to it now than when I’m older and it’s just overwhelming~ meow meow meow I have to work tomorrow-saturday :c bigger plugs are more expensive so….. yeah x.x
Ever since I started working I have less time to think which is a good thing, I just am so oblivious to the bad vibes in my house, so I hate coming home and being reminded with the tension. Work is okay I’m still getting the hang of things, but my dad sees me as younger than I am bc I’m his baby so its causing problems. .-. .. I’m just trying to save up money. Get a head start? He fears i’ll leave at 18 like the oldest three. I would if I knew I could sir but I won’t. :I we’ll see what happens.
My friends often question why I wish to grow up so fast. The only time I enjoy is time to myself.. I’m sick of school. I’m sick of home and whatever job I have I will be sick of also. They tell me to enjoy living at home, no bills, bet you they actually love both of their parents. I don’t want anyone to think this is teen angst because it really isn’t. I wish it was, it’s not a good feeling loathing someone who has partial credit for my being alive. I don’t even know what to do anymore, I’m too incompetent to know anything because I’m too young and I’m too stupid and I don’t know what’s good for me or anything of any matter. But overnight it will be astounding that I don’t have my whole fucking life figured out, and all of my mistakes will be thrown in my face until he dies. Not to mention that I will be compared to his favorite daughter and deemed not as good as her also.
A black kitten ran into my house and I have such a weakness :x
I’ve been calling her “nigger” instead of a name, trying not to get attatched in case someone claims her.*-*
I’ve been logging in and out of Facebook and tumblr all day omg. My best friend is grounded another is in Israel. I need more friends… how to be social? How.
please notice my icon and how clever i am, took me 10 minutes to photoshop. 10 MINUTES